Commute Chronicles

So sumakay ako ng jeep kaninang umaga, papunta ng Santolan. Okay naman yung jeep, salo naman nung upuan yung pwet ko kahit papano pero hindi din naman ganun kaluwag para umupo ng pa-side view. May music pero di ganon kalakas kaya rinig padin ako ng drayber pag nagbayad nako. Sabi ko sa sarili ko sa may Tikling nako magbabayad kasi mukhang tulog pa 'tong mga katabi ko, walang magaabot nung bayad. Edi sige wait ako, dumating na yung Tikling, may isang pasaherong dumilat, kinuha ko sa bulsa ko yung bayad tas nakiabot sakanya. Aba'y may lahing ninja ata yung ale, pagtingin ko tulog na ulit. Too late naka-angat na yung braso ko at nasabi ko ng, “bayad po”. Mga ilang segundo din yun na hiyang hiya ako kasi walang pumapansin sakin kasi lahat tulog or nagtutulog-tulugan para di maabala, ewan ko lang. Buti may isang mamang may busilak na puso na nagising at inabot yung bente ko sa drayber. Nginitian ko nalang siya at sinabing “thank you po”. Ayos na, bayad na, banayad na ang byahe. Ala din naman kasing ibang nagbayad pagkatapos ko, siguro lahat bayad na. Nung malapit na yung Santolan, nagulat nalang ako, mga nagsilabasan sila ng wallet. Majority dun mga estudyante, U-belt people kaya alam kong LRT din sila bababa. “Bayad po,” “LRT po, estudyante,” “isa lang po yan,” “kuya, sukli ko po?” Hala lahat sila, nagmamadali ng magbayad at makuha yung sukli. Yung iba, galit pa. Kawawang drayber sa loob loob ko. Halos isang oras yung byahe, nung malapit na sa destinasyon saka lang nagbayad yung mga pasahero. Ang malupit dun, gusto agad nila instant yung panunukli nung drayber, eh buo pa man din yung pera nung iba sakanila. Santolan, LRT na. Bumaba na ko kasi male-late nako at nakapag bayad na din naman ako, sakto naman yung binigay ko. Ano pa bang hahanapin ni kuya? Pero lumingon ulit ako dun sa jeep, konti lang yung ibang bumaba pagkatapos ko. Siguro yung iba, hina-harass pa si kuya para sa sukli nila. Sukli na sana eh nakuha na nila ng maaga kung nagbayad sila kaagad. Pero ewan biased siguro ko dahil ugali ko ng magbayad agad pagkasakay. Siguro dahil drayber din ang daddy ko, mas sensitibo ako sa mga ganitong sitwasyon. Narinig ko sakanya nung minsan, “hindi porke't tagapaghatid lang kami ng tao, kakaya-kayanin na lang kami. Pinagpapaguran din naman namin yung bina-bayad niyo, kahit sampung piso lang yan. Try niyo maglakad na lang next time kung di niyo kami kayang respetuhin.”

When I grow up..

There's gonna be a lot of changes growing up. I've already made myself aware of that. But maybe I didn't prepare myself enough on the particulars- on how much change there is actually going to be. Maybe I underestimated the toll brought about by the varying degrees of modifications. Lately, stepping into the same world I used to know but with a different pair of shoes seems like the most lethal thing invented. I'm not really sure if being this scared of transitions is proof of being childish or being childlike. Because for what I'm seeing now, adulthood is messy, sad and frankly so stiff and serious, so rigid and narrow, you'd want to just stay inside your mother's womb forever. Exaggeration? Yes. But amazingly enough, it has its little truth worthy of being written down. I'm 19 and an adult myself. And the more I push on life, the more I fret. I don't want to be the sour people sitting behind desks and offices making 19 year-olds feel like they're the most worthless things ever. I don't want to be the surly gray beings, who not only deny you of any help but also make sure they bathe you with sarcasm while at it. I was all over my school this day, trying to fix some academic stuff and was spinning like a top trying to piece together the different processes, different adults were telling me I should do. It was complicated. But we like to make life complicated now, don't we? They had differing versions of the fixing process and I tried to comply with each of their methods, all the while trying to keep my shit together. I tried to be polite even after being insulted, stared, smirked and shouted at. One swallow of pride was not enough. They were older. They were this circus' ringleader. I am one of the caged attractions. I don't want to become one of them in the future. Really. But I'm feeling there's this small inevitability of it since I came home with a frown that did not want to hide itself. I kicked a dining room chair, rolled my eyes at my little brother when he asked me about science. To which I also answered, “go figure it out, you're big enough.” :(

Realization Roadtrips

We celebrated New Year's Eve in Dasmariñas Cavite, an approximately 2 hour travel from my home in Angono, Rizal. Turns out we had relatives there. And I feel very much ashamed not knowing this beforehand- not knowing that some family roots were within close routes. I felt better after learning that mom and dad have not gone there yet as well and that it was a first time for our family of five (plus grandpa who was with us as early as December 30). So on December 31, at around 8:30 am, we started our roadtrip with only bread and coffee in our stomachs and a text message serving as tour guide. If it wasn't for my father being a driver and all, we would've circled the entirety of CALABARZON without even reaching our destination. Lost is what we were, indeed. We had to stop and ask a number of people a number of times. Thank God they were gracious enough to give us a fraction of their time. Too bad their directions put together were not. We were all wide-eyed for landmarks and ignorant of bathroom breaks. We each had our moment of being Henry, the Navigator. We sound-tripped to each other's music. And of course we had to pay the price of being lost courtesy of toll gates- which starts my random ramblings now.

You see, we had to go to through three toll gates during that day. With fees of P24, P24 and P64 respectively. Thing is, coming from the Christmas season, you can expect people to have their peso bills still crisp and pungent. And as far as I know, there has always been that human instinct to preserve all things pretty- and in this case, it is quite the noble sacrifice for my one of my two worn out P50 bill to take one for the team and substitute for my mom's rather delicate P100 one in the payment process. The first P50 bill covered the first two toll gates and the second one found its way in my mom's purse. For the third toll gate fee, since it was the costliest one, my dad had to ask for another P100 bill from my mother since none of us had P14 pesos to go with the remaining worn out P50. Mom informed us it was either the crisp bad boy we were supposed to use a while before or nothing. Good thing, my sister stepped in and save the day by handing in a P100 peso bill not in mint condition, to say the least. So for two instances that lucky paper bill, survived its own Hunger Games. But then, the Circle Of Life did not get famous for nothing. If there's anything I have come to realize for 2013, it's that: if something or someone is meant to be, it will be. “Que Sera Sera”, right? Because in a single lapse of logic, we forgot that there was the toll gates going back home to worry about. So this time, none of us had bills to spare. It was the P100 peso bad boy's cue. It was his time. We may have prevented its departure for a while but there is no cheating fate. What will be, will truly be. It's an ironic humor of life tossing and turning us in the way but still motioning us to the path truly meant for us. Whether it was a job you thought you did not get or a rejection of your life-long dream. It all happened for a reason. It would have happened no matter what.

What about you? Will 2014 be a year of being okay whichever toll gate your crisp paper bill goes into?

“Anak, mag-aral kayo ng mabuti, hano.”

Madalas 'tong line ng lolo't lola ko, mami't dadi. Automatic ang sagot ko ng 'opo'. Automatic hindi dahil iniisip kong 'yun ang ang gusto nilang marinig na sagot. Automatic hindi dahil paulit-ulit sila at sanay na ang dila ko. Automatic dahil alam kong yung request nilang yun, kahit 'di na nila sabihin, alam kong gagawin ko. Mag-aaral akong mabuti. Wala naman talagang ibang makikinabang sa huli kundi ako 'pag ginawa ko 'yon. Ingrained naman na sakin 'yun, kaya reflex na ang pag-sagot ng opo.

Pero minsan napapatanong pa din ako kung ano at paano nga ba talaga mag-aral ng mabuti. Alam ko iniisip mo- Ahhh yesss! Nagpapaka-deep si loko. Pero seryoso ko dito kasi nabanggit ko naman na from the start, 'yan na ang plano ko. 'Yan ang plano ng lahat. Pagdating mo kasi sa kolehiyo, 'di na underrated ang pagiging grade conscious. Bawat pagsagot mo sa papel, may equal and opposite reaction sa future mo. So I guess hindi talaga maikakailang kailangan ma-praning sa grado at sa iba-ibang mga factor na nagko-contribute sa goal na makahawak ng diploma.

Madalas ang basehan diyan ay yung kung ilan ang line of 9 mo sa card. Masakit man para sa mga “nagta-try and try until they die pero average joe pa din ang grades”. Pero wala eh. Yun na ang tingin ng mundo. Mag-aral ng mabuti = Kumuha ng mataas na grade. TAMA! Walang palya ang ganoong paniniwala. Sino nga naman ba sa atin ang nag-aaral para bumagsak o basta pumasa lang? Whether may natutunan man talaga ang estudyante o wala, nakakadagdag-yabang naman talaga ang uno sa transcript.

Ako, sa totoo lang, hindi ko pa naaatim ang nasabing tagumpay. Pero ibig sabihin ba nun hindi ako nag-aral ng mabuti? 'Di ko din kasi alam kung saang category pumapasok ang grades ko eh. 'Di siya bagsak, 'di siya pasang-awa pero 'di din mataas. Unknown species kumbaga. Medyo masakit siguro madinig kung pagsasabihan akong 'di ako nag-aral ng mabuti when deep inside alam kong ibinuhos ko naman lahat. Huhuhu. Must studying hard always be in a relationship with numbers? One of these days, 'pag ako nainis, ipagbe-break ko 'yang dalawang 'yan.

Para saan pa kaya 'yung saying na “there's a lesson in everything” kung naniniwala ang lahat na wala kang natutunan kapag bumagsak ka. Kahit konti, wala? Ouch naman. Naisip ko lang kasi na since iba-iba ang tao, hindi ba dapat i-consider na iba-iba din ang learning preferences natin? Kapag ba alam ng isa ang square root of x, ibig sabihin angat na agad siya? Paano kung mas binibigyang pansin ng isa pang tao ang essence at meaning ng square root of x kesa sa computation nito? Wala lang 'yon? How can we say that the knowledge of one thing is greater than another? [naks] Araw-araw may natututunan tayong lahat, hindi nga lang pare-pareho. Natututo ang isang parloristang gumupit ng kung ano ang pinaka-bentang hairdo of the season the same way na natututo ang isang up and coming journalist kung paano mang-ambush interview. Parehas namang natuto 'di ba? Sabi nga ni Albert Einstein, “if you measure a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Well said, mah mehn!

Minsan nga yung mga so-called geniuses of the world, sila pa ang sumisira dito eh. Kaya siguro nauso din yung 'iba ang may pinagaralan sa may natutunan'. Minsan nga naman yun pang mga nakatuntong ng kolehiyo ang siya pang astang hayop. Hmm. Ako kaya may aktwal na natutunan o basta may pinagaralan?

Bottomline: Yang grades na yan, di mo madadala sa langit yan! Ang pruweba nalang siguro natin na nakapag-aral nga tayo ng mabuti ay kung may natutunan nga tayo- hindi lang basta nalaman, kundi natutunan, naisaisip at naisapuso [iboto niyo na po ako sa 2016]. Alalahanin nawa natin na hindi lahat ng mataas ang grades ay may natutunan, yung iba nakai-score lang sa papel ng katabi. Mag-aral tayo ng mabuti. Hindi sinabing hakutin ang mataas na grade. Sabi nga ni idol Natalie Portman: “I don't love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful.” Magkaibang bagay nga naman yung dalawa. Rock on!

The Author Needs To Get A Life

It's one of THOSE days again.

Those days when you feel like doing nothing but snuggle your pillow or drink coffee while reading a book. It's those days when you feel like singing to a boy-band lovesong. And while it may be the one of the calmest moments in life, it may also be one of the saddest.

I don't know. Atleast for me it is.

There's something about rain that gets me feeling all philosophical and deep. It may be because of the cold and its slight paralyzing effect, stitching me to the bed and making me remember every possible sad and lonely encounter I've had in life. I'm a joker, I've always formed a bond with humor. I just feel like I have this need to make people smile and cheer up unhappy, stressed or infuriated sons of ---- censored ----- , I figured life is just too damn short to mope around. But then every darn time I'm left alone, I turn into those unhappy, stressed, infuriated sons of --- er --- . Truth is, sometimes saving others from their misery and worldly troubles by making them laugh can be tiring too. You have your own shi-- stuff-- that is hard enough already but then you go out of your way just to make someone's day, not knowing if someone out there is willing to do the same for you. Come to think of it, being a comedian may perhaps be one of the hardest professions ever to be invented. Because sadness and all those other melancholic emotions are inevitable and here is the jester trying to drive it away. H A R D, I tell you, hard. So what am I saying here exactly? The rain is making me lonely? I'm a funny person? Being a joker is hard work? I don't know. I guess when you're as messed up as me and it's these kinds of days, having sense incorporated in your blog posts is impossible. All I know is that there's more to people than what they let you see. Just like how rain is more than just droplets of water from the sky. It sparks a lot of things.

#CreepyEmoPost #SorryHaha

My Ideal Person

My ideal person would have the values and attributes I lack. This is so because I firmly believe that all men have the desire to be good and do no harm to others. But since situations and God's plan for every one of us differs, some people resort to evil doings and unrighteousness. They do not have the right mind set to remain in the goodness' side. Thankfully, there is Christian Ethics to help steer people back to morality.                                                                            (paper for Phl 5 – Christian Ethics)

My ideal person is someone who is fearless when it comes to uncovering and disseminating truth. Nowadays, deceit and pretensions are becoming less of an issue in the society and it is saddening. Another trait he has would be that of having a high sense of self esteem. Since the world today is full of misconceptions on who one should be, what one should wear, what one should look like and be like, it is important to still know what makes you different and what makes you stand out. People often bring other people down just to get on top but if you believe in yourself enough, you will overcome the odds. I also like my ideal person to be more aware and sensitive to other people's feelings. It is a step towards the most-coveted eternal life. Lastly, I would want my ideal person to be a leader for change. He will not be blown away by the pressures of the material world but instead he will fight for the masses and be an example and inspiration to others. He will not be swayed to take the easy road to anything. He will fight for what he believes in and struggle to make an honest living.

Physically-speaking, I want my ideal person to have a smile that can take away problems even for just a fraction of a second. I want him to have an infectious laugh. He will be the “fireball of the party,” and bring outcasts and awkward people at ease creating a happier place. He will have extraordinary strength not fueled by muscles, extreme work-outs and energy drinks but by optimism and faith in God.

My ideal person is a person completely surrendered to God. He lets the Great Architect design everything for him but still works and perseveres as much as if wanting to provide His Boss with the best output. He will have no regrets. He is at peace with the world.

It's more fun in my imagination

I once believed that the Chocolate Hills in Bohol, atleast some of it, were actual chocolates. I was maybe six or seven then, trying to swallow as much as I can about Sibika at Kultura and Philippine geography when I first learned about these hills, which to my great disappointment, were not a Willy Wonka secret project gone wrong. The teacher was all-smiles telling the class how these hills- that were not at all chocolate- are God's gift to the Philippines. And I, being the know-it-all little girl with a sweet tooth, refused to believe all the nonsense she heard. I used to write my beliefs in the back of my Math notebook, saying “it's all a conspiracy, that the government does not want other nations to find out that we have these oversized processed cacao reservoir masquerading as hills.” Those many may not be my exact first grader words but it is the best way to describe the dread, irritation and maybe a slight hint of hunger that I experienced. I thought that Philippine authorities will assume telling the public about the true nature of the hills once threats were gone. In due time, I thought, everyone will know. Ten years after, nothing happened. So it's either I outgrew the belief or neighboring nations with hidden interest on the hills found out I knew top secret information and had to have my brain reprogrammed while I sleep. Let's hope it's the former. 

-assignment for Lit103 :) 

There is always that point in your life when you have to swallow something you said or eat up a principle you once took pride on. I do a handful of positivity-infused posts every now and then. And sometimes I can't help but doubt whether the writer who wrote them had any sense at all of what she's saying at the time. The world is pretty messed up sometimes (considering we just came out from an election that many of us once again dubbed highly susceptible to fraud and a melting pot of errors). And with just 18 years of existence to back up all the goody-two shoes Paulo Coelho-wannabe type of pieces that I write, it is quite plausible that there will be times when I want to take back some of the things that slipped my tongue(or keyboard rather) and ended up being blogged only to be regretted after. My friends say I'm a real jolly fella, that I spark laughter and good companionship in everywhere I go. Then again, maybe it's just a defense mechanism. Maybe it's just that some things are just too embarrassing or degrading to admit even to your own self that you settle for just laughing it all of and “looking at the bright side”. What if that bright side is a long, long way down the road? What are you going to do then? It is instinct to cover up and hide weakness. But then, it is also inevitable to feel one. As of writing time, I am pulling my hair, thinking why some things didn't go my way- all childlike, yes. There will be a peak to everything. There will always be hiatus. Even the funniest of comedians could also be a sad sap.

Maybe a little teenage angst is cool after all. :D

05.13.13

Sa medyo weird na pagkakataong ito, naisipan kong gamitin na lang muna ang aking pambansang wika upang mas maiparating ang damdaming makabayan. Kaakibat nito, napagpasiyahan ko ring talakayin naman ang isang napakaimportanteng bagay na kaunti lang siguro ang nakakaalala. Medyo boring talakayin ang kasaysayan ng politika ng bansa, manood nalang kayo ng Matanglawin para don. Mas importante kasi para sakin ngayon na pagusapan ang kasaysayan ng bawat isa sa atin pagdating sa bakbakang ito na sinasabing madumi at kailanma'y hindi magiging mapayapa.

Wala lang. Naisip ko lang kasi na hindi ba nung elementary tayo o kahit nung high school, kulang na lang idikit natin yung mukha natin sa desk para lang hindi ma-nominate. Yung iba kasing mga ma-trip na classmate natin para mang-asar ino-nominate yung pangalan mo tapos sa huli, hindi ka din naman iboboto. Hashtag badtrip di ba? Pero pagtanda, iba na yata talaga eh. Yung ibang tao, mabulungan lang ng maimpluwensyang friend nila na tumakbo, go naman sila.

Dati, nagmamakaawa kang 'wag ka na iboto, with matching praying hands gesture ka pa. Todo tanggi sa resposibilidad na kaakibat ng posisyon. Ngayon, bali-balita lang naman na yung kandidato mismo yung desperado para sa boto, bribers eneverytheng. Nung grade school, muse,escort at PRO lang yung medyo nakaka-thrill na pwesto. Ngayon, kulang pa yung nine years na pagka-pangulo, kelangan kahit hospitalized, kongresista ka pa din. Wow.

Noon, isang hampas lang sa katabi ang katapat para patigilin sa balak nilang i-nominate ka. These days, medyo baliktad. Kapag hindi mo siya binoto, hampas ang katapat mo. Buti nga kung yun lang eh, minsan kase nangma-massacre pa yung iba ng convoy eh. Lupet!

At ito, last but not the least. Tanda ko noon nung bata pa ko, kapag nanalo na yung kaklase ko, pinipinlit pa siya nung teacher namin na mag-speech o mag-message kung ano daw ba yung gagawin niya as president of the section. Eto namang si kuya mong napilitan lang, walang maisagot kasi napilitan nga lang siya in the first place. Nag-joke na lang yung bata at sinabing “everything I do, I do it for you, classmates”. Sabay petiks lang siya, the whole year round, ni-hindi man lang nga tsine-check kung yung cleaners kada araw, nag lilinis nga talaga. Ngayon, wala naman masyadong pinagbago, may ibang masipag na opisyal, may mga petiks pa rin naman. Ang pinaka-significant siguro na pinagkaiba, eh yung speech at pag-papangako factor. Super level up ngayon eh. Lahat ng pwedeng ipangako, ipapako este ipapangako pala. “Libreng pag-aaral, libreng bahay, libreng gamot, libreng patubig, libreng shampoo, libreng Ipad, libreng sakit ng ulo.” Lahat libre, ba't di pa kaya bigyan ng jacket 'yan!

Wala lang. Ang cute lang talaga natin. Cute din ang bansa natin. Sana di natin ito ipinaubaya sa mga taong pa-cute lang :) MABUHAY ANG LAHING PILIPINO!

Drilon warns public not to sell their votes

Angono, RIZAL – Team Pnoy campaign manager, Franklin Drilon urged the electorate on Wednesday against selling their votes on the May 13 election day.

Drilon issued the statement after receiving reports that quarters are out to lure voters into selling their votes with just a week away before polls.

“I appeal to the electorate not to accept money from candidates or their emissaries in exchange for your votes. Kapag ginawa ninyo iyon, tayong taumbayan ang matatalo sa huli dahil mga corrupt ang mailalagay sa pwesto,”  said Drilon.

The Liberal Party comrade warned voters against accepting, directly or indirectly, money, transportation allowance, food and drinks as these “undermine the integrity of the election.”

"Let us safeguard our votes against cheaters and poll manipulators, whether they will come from the opposing party or the ruling party," he added.

Senator Drilon also dismissed claims that the administration will manipulate the result of the election, saying with President Benigno Aquino III being strongly against electoral fraud, “cheating is out of the equation.”

"This administration never tolerates fraud and cheating. Let us not forget that the cleansing of voters’ list in the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao was made possible during the Aquino watch,” Drilon said.

"If cheating in order to win is our goal, we would not have exercised efforts to remove the thousands of ghost voters in the ARMM (Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao), where most cases of electoral frauds took place," he added.

Drilon called on the people to be vigilant against election fraud and report irregularities immediately to authorities.

"Ensuring an honest election is a duty not only left to the government; it is the responsibility of every citizen of a nation to safeguard their votes," he said.

 - Danielle Gabriel

(P.S Just trying my hand in news writing)

Bwakaw

I made a mental note that if ever I do get the time, I will indulge in watching

 indie films. I always thought these kinds of movies were more than their

 picture of violence, sex and Philippine poverty. It was a wake-up call that 

there are more pressing matters out there that are rarely addressed other than

 mistresses, rich chicks slapping each other really hard and men in swords living

 in magical worlds. In all honesty, I first thought indie films were doomed for

 gloom. But hooray for Jun Robles Lana's Bwakaw. It challenged the stereotype

 that independent films are all about negatives. I saw the trailer of the film in 

Cinema One and knew instantly that I HAVE to watch it.

Movie Review:

  

Bwakaw is a story about Rene, an old gay man who came out late in his life. He thinks it is now too late for love and that life has already passed by him. He finds companionship on Bwakaw, a stray dog that hangs around his house. Throughout the movie, he is seen preparing for his death- buying a coffin and writing his last will. But in a sudden twist of irony, Bwakaw suffers cancer and dies first. The whole scenario, although tragic, has led to a bigger realizations and understanding. Rene eventually finds solace in his new-found meaning of life and enjoys the little things it has to offer.

The mix of melodrama and comedy was something to look forward to in this film. As easy as it is a tear-jerker, it can tickle funnybones as well. It can be noted that Director Jun Lana wanted the mood of the movie to be light and accessible to any audience, but at the same time he aimed to expose some of human's vulnerabilities- topics about growing old and finding oneself.

As genius as its plot, the cinematography of the movie was not one to be left out. The seemingly sepia effect they did gave a sad vintage feel to the film making the scenes surrender into the same boring routines the protagonist, Rene, underwent. The colors were brought up as soon as the movie enters into the more positive events. There were barely musical accompaniments to the film. But it can be agreed that the lack of which only adds to the piercing sadness and silence in the old man's life. All in all, the experience of watching the movie was like scouring through a bunch of old timeless photographs and finding a beautiful story behind it.

Casting Eddie Garcia as Rene was a perfect puzzle fit. Six decades of experience in the business coupled with numerous awards and recognition, you would think the 83 year-old has had every role bagged. But the FAMAS (Filipino Academy of Movie Arts and Sciences) Hall of Famer still has plenty of tricks up his sleeves as he delivers yet another breathtaking portrayal. The shift from playing villains in the '50s to a lonely gay man in his twilight years, Garcia proves to be a driving force of the movie scene and constantly keeps the people guessing what is next for the renowned actor-director. Along with other great artists like Rez Cortez, Bibeth Orteza, Armida Siguion-Reyna, the film becomes a buffet of talents engaging various critics here and abroad.

Since its premiere at the Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival last July 2012, Bwakaw received positive reviews and both local and international praises. The movie has then been getting a large following that bids for it to become the first Filipino film to be nominated in the Oscars Best Foreign Language category- a pretty big leap for a film whose director had very simple expectations for it.

I do hope more films like this get produced and shown. It would be a shame to think that a beautifully-crafted work like Bwakaw is being celebrated in other cities around the world meanwhile here in the country, only few people have seen it. As much as John Lloyd movies make us swoon, it's no crime either to go gaga over films that showcase everyday conflicts and scenarios. Be it as controversial as sexuality, as emotional as aging and death or as hilarious as slapstick comedy, life is there for art to imitate. Are we to be so focused on clichéd happy endings and computer generated special effects? Independent films await your response.

The One Book I Met While Heartbroken

 THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A MAN named Eddie and it begins at the
end, with Eddie dying in the sun. It might seem strange to start a story
with an ending. But all endings are also beginnings. We just don't know
it at the time.                                                                                      

                                                           - The Five People You Meet in Heaven
                                                                               by Mitch Albom

Since summer time has made itself at home here in the country and summer classes, as I have found out, cost an arm and a leg- and probably some other internal organs as well- I have decided to make these two months of vacation as productive as I possibly can. That means looking for work, indulging on books, practicing my writing, catching up on forgotten passions (music and dance), and eating healthy to my heart's content- I just hope it's disciplined enough to lay off the bacon and sweets just for 8 weeks. Anyhow, like always, I made it a point to stick to a schedule. My OC self would always take over at times like these when the temptation of doing nothing and being nothing tries to stage an attack. I wrote down everything I needed to do for the summer in an old notebook and crossed my fingers, hoping each one written there would push through. It didn't.

I was applying for my school's official publication. Every aspiring writer's dream- to have his name printed in a newspaper even before he gets his diploma. I was one of them, ofcourse. But as easily as fate conspires to have dreams reached, odds can be against it. Just when I was one step closer to the position, I felt the weight of rejection drag me down. In a matter of hours, I got the depressing news. I didn't know what was worse- knowing I failed or knowing I failed without knowing why. In a cruel twist of irony, I received the news moments after positively relating how I did in the interview to my mom and dad. I went up to my room thinking I made them proud. I went down again taking it all back. It's moments like this when I question the dignity of my optimism. I notice I do a lot of positive-filled posts and saintly encouragements; I wonder if after spending more years in the adult world, would I change this kind of thinking? Would I turn into those lonely men and women who feel stuck and unhappy, rotting in the cycle of making a living instead of actually living? Uggghhh! Whatever. That's still a long way down the road. What's important is now. And now I feel like having a bucket of fried chicken and some Ben&Jerry's while at it. Maybe listen to some Alicia Keys to have my swagger back, I don't know.

Recently, I downloaded a bunch of pdf files of books that I longed to read. I chose to read The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom, thinking another Paulo Coelho-like magic might work on a tragedy-struck girl like moi. And I was right in my choice. I was debating on whether to pick up an Emily Griffin book versus that and I'm really glad I chose the latter. After the introductory paragraph, I though to myself “Dear, God: Where has this fine piece of literature been all my life?”. It was that helpful. This is no book review post so I'll make the spoiling quick, okay. The story centers on a man named Eddie and his journey to five places in heaven wherein he meets five people who have impacted his life in some way. In each place in heaven, he learns a lesson from one person and at the end received a better understanding of his life on earth. The messages involved life having no random acts, sacrifice, forgiveness, lost loves and purposes. The entire plot and concept was magical. I was crying half-way through the book. Even the dedication part hit me. In a course of one day, I felt better. The book took me back to the interview itself when I was asked. “Would you commit a Kristel Tejada, if you don't get in,” they said in Tagalog. I didn't know why I answered right away, “no sir, masaya pong mabuhay.” Now, I think I know.

(P.S I'm a badass, I still have my back-up plans. Sorry, setbacks. Better luck next time. I have loads of legendary things to do.)

Tales from Ramon Bautista

It would seem that Helen of Troy has found her male counterpart on this man whose face as well as wit launched a thousand common senses back to use. “Gamitin ang kagwapuhan hindi sa panlilinlang sa kababaihan kundi sa pag gabay sa kabataan,” he would quote on his first book, Bakit Hindi ka Crush ng Crush Mo. True to the statement, Ramon Bautista rose to fame with his street-wise tips on living and truth-hurts-that's-life approach on matters of the broken heart- short videos which can be seen on Youtube. Also known for his “bloody hell, dropped calls” act for a telecommunications company commercial and the rapping stint he did alongside the late Francis Magalona for Nescafé back in 2008, Sir Monra spends time teaching Film and Audio-Visual Communication at the University of the Philippines, Diliman and hangs out with the crew of Magic 89.9's Boys Night Out every Mondays. So with all the exposure in television, radio, and in the internet, one would think that funnyman Ramon is an open book with no other personas to hide. But amidst the natural humor, satirical statements and the self-proclaimed Luis Manzano looks, is a man who once preferred to keep to himself, settling for a relationship with books and magazines. Who would have thought that the once shy-type Bautista would soon evolve into the so-called “internet action star” we know today who gives away free t-shirts after advising on problems of the heart? A 30-minute chat with the Friendzone specialist himself would be a treat for those out there who need a dose of practicality with a hint of comic relief and random life stories on the side.

A proud member of the 'Nerd Society'

One of the most common stereotyping would have to be assuming that smart, book-loving, grade-conscious people do not belong in front of the camera or anywhere near it. However, Ramon is one of those people who dare defy this kind of thinking. Growing up, Ramon explains he would rather stay at home, read some books and study his lessons rather than go off somewhere with playmates. “Hindi na man sa preferred, kasi siyempre, mainit sa labas tapos bago yung mga videogames noon. Ako yung isa sa mga unang bata o baka isa na nalason ang pag-iisip sa videogames na hindi na ako naglaro sa kalye at pinili ko na lang na mag-computer tsaka manood ng t.v,” he adds. The famous internet action star reveals he read just about anything he could find at home: newspapers, encyclopedias and magazines. Although seeming like a bookworm, his childhood days was not entirely spent reading Times and Newsweek magazines. Ramon reminisces on what entertainment and comedy was for him as a child. “Well, hindi naman talaga ako mahilig na mahilig sa comedy pero nanonood ako lagi ng Eat Bulaga, mga pelikula ni Tito, Vic & Joey nung pag tanghali. Yung mga barkado ko, mga nakakatawa silang tao kaya siguro gusto kong nakakatawa rin yung mga iniisip ko,” he says. And so it would seem that a big portion of who he is now was brought on by his peers. “Yung friends, ayun malaking impluwensiya. Di na man sa mas malaki pero malaking impluwensiya kasi kung di ako tumambay sa mga nerd noon o kaya napariwara ako o nabarkada ako sa tarantado, baka tarantado din ako,” he says. True enough, it was the same kind of people that led him to realize who he wanted to be and the same crowd that would soon propel him to stardom. He says, “Doon ako sa mga masisipag, sa mga nerdo-nerdo. Nung bandang high school, yung mga nerd na yan, humalo doon sa mga nakakatawa, so naging, yung klase ng pag-iisip ko, gusto ko na din maging katulad nila... college, mga creative na tao na man kasi siyempre Film yung course ko.” If you already had the chance to read his book or catch an episode of one of his four-to-seven minute videos, you would know how Sir Monra emphasizes on the importance of education. Blame it on his nerdy past or the fact that his parents always acknowledged he would make right choices in life, or even because he is a professor in the premiere university of the country; whatever the case is, it is quite interesting to know that someone who greatly values learning and progress is able to inspire many using wit and comedy, which in the first place can be achieved by taking going to school seriously. “Unahin niyo yung pag-aaral kasi yung love na man, pwede na mang dumating yan kung nakatadhana talaga kayo. Tsaka siyempre, kapag nag-aral ka, makakahanap ka ng magandang trabaho, kapag nakahanap ka ng magandang trabaho, kikita ka, kapag kumita ka, yayaman ka, kapag yumaman ka, mas maraming maiinlove sa iyo kasi stable ka,” he claims.

Perks of Being a Film Maker

For someone who used to shy his way through childhood and school life, working in the film industry and being considered as an in-demand commercial model today seem like an ironic transition. But it just goes to show how uniqueness always serves as edge. “Bilang filmmaker, P.N.Y. ang tawag namin sa filmmaking style namin ni RA, P.N.Y. short for "Pwede Na Yan". Maraming nagpi-P.N.Y. pero pangit yung P.N.Y. nila. Sa amin nagagandahan kami sa P.N.Y. namin, may karakter na parang DIY, Homemade,” Ramon explains. The Mr. Pogi of the internet scene recalls coming from the college of architecture and shifting to film studies which happens to be his true calling. With his very good friend, RA Rivera, Ramon opted to leave his t-square in exchange for a camera. “May napanood akong film festival tapos parang pangit yung mga pelikulang pinapalabas. Naisip ko kaya ko din gumawa ng mga ganun. True enough, nakagawa nga rin ako ng mga pangit na sine pero nananalo na ng award tsaka nalalagay sa mga festival,” he says. Famous for playing various roles in Strangebrew, a reality comedy show which aired from 2001 to 2003 on Studio 23, and showcasing failed magic attempts in his Dan Michael Master Magician videos, Ramon confesses on the good things film-making has to offer. “The best thing, ito siguro yung naiinterview ng mga tao na parang interesado din sila kasi mahiyain din ako... may sweldo din naman, mas madali ang buhay kaysa halimbawa, yung driver ng bulldozer, ganun,” he says. And while starring in films himself, Ramon does not overlook the feeling of being starstrucked everytime he gets to meet famous people and gets to rub elbows with them. “Masaya kasi halimbawa si Francis Magalona, nakatrabaho ko siya, dati minememorize ko lang yung mga rap niya nung high school tapos nung nakagawa kami ng commercial, nakaka-star struck minsan,” he admits. So aside from having a number of commercials and cameos, rowdying with other DJ's on radio, getting to talk with renowned artists in The Ramon Bautista show, and playing chef in GMA News TV 11's Sarap At Home, would there be more to look forward to in the life of a Ramon Bautista? “Nainspire ako kay E.R. Ejercito. Gumagawa siya ng mga pelikula na starring siya. Dati ko pa siyang inspirasyon kasi dati yung mga role niya, manyakis na killer na adik tapos bigla siyang nag-reporter. Sabi ko, grabe itong tao na ito, binali niya lahat ng mga stereotype na mga karakter ng media, gusto kong maging tulad niya,” he explains, adding that he still has dreams for himself and for his craft.

Who wants to be an Abanger?

“Na-friendzone ka nga, may t-shirt ka naman.” The famous line by Ramon Bautista at the end of Tales From The Friendzone (TFTFZ) videos is fast becoming a local trend nowadays. Its pilot episode, I love you Bebelyn, currently has 454,113 views. Abanger, from the root word “abang”, basically means someone who is willing to wait for his crush or loved one to notice him or choose him. It may seem new, but Ramon explains this situation has always been around and all he did was to give it a name. Words like MOMOL (Make-Out, Make-Out Lang), Preemptive Supalpal and Girlie is now being added to the vocabulary of some especially to ages belonging to the adolescent and early adulthood stage. “Pansin namin ni RA Rivera, maraming kabataan ang sobrang obsessed sa pagiging in love, sa pagkakilig,” Ramon claims and adds that these young ones tend to overlook the more important things in life at their stage which is good education and becoming a better individual. The TFTFZ episodes center on letters to Ramon from people in need of love advices especially those who are being friendzoned. Always the comedian, Ramon gives his advices along with theatrics and satirical qoutes. When asked on what a typical TFTFZ shooting is like, Ramon answers, “siyempre pipili ako ng kuwento tapos pili kami ng artista ni RA. Siyempre maraming nagpe-presenta pero konti lang yung pwede. Lalo na yung schedule, kadalasan, bukas na kami mag-shu-shoot, buong gabi magtatanong kami ng mga kaibigan naming girlaloo kung may papayag. Buti may pumapayag naman, magaganda na man.” Although the short videos garnered much attention, it was his Formspring and Tumblr accounts that helped him hone his talents in answering love problems and random sometimes senseless questions. Much as he was deemed comedic, Ramon takes his advice-giving seriously and wants to embed rationality in the minds of his fans and followers. “Siyempre hindi na ako natatawa sa mga pinagsasabi ko kasi sa tingin ko naman hindi na man nakakatawa, parang seryoso nga ako eh. Kasi naghahanap sila ng nakakatawa, ano na mang nakakatawa diyan. Sila natatawa, ako parang wala lang, ganyan ako magsalita,” he says. After being awarded for having the Most Smiled Formspring in the World last 2011, more blessings came for Ramon as he releases his book, Bakit Hindi Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo. The book, which is a compilation of questions and answers in his Formspring, became one of the best-sellers in the country in 2012 proving just how patronizing we can be when it comes to topics of love and humor. It was a memorable experience for the author himself who says, “Akala ko walang bibili ng libro, marami pala. Hindi, marami, ineexpect kong marami pero hindi ganoon karami. Everytime may lumalapit, pinipicture-an yung libro, pino-post sa Twitter, nakakatunaw ng puso na natutuwa sila sa pinaggagawa ko.”

Comical and critical

Finding the right balance between acting as a jester and keeping an iron grip on things is quite difficult. Ramon who teaches Film and Mass Communication at the University of the Philippines- Diliman, know very well the meaning of limitations and boundaries. Being a professor, he admits having to raise his voice if need be and keeping his distance from students who try to bargain grades with him. “Sa akin parang mga class card na naglalakad yang mga yan,” he claims. Just as he promotes valuing education and the feeling of having to receive one, Ramon also points out how real life can teach you lessons you cannot find inside the classroom. “Hindi lang pag-aaral sa school, pag-aaral na kapag may nami-meet kang mga tao, pag-aralan mo, ah ganito siya mag-isip, ganyan yung kultura niyo,” he explains. Being a peace ambasssador, the internet action star puts his intellect to good use to promote peace while injecting some wisecracks saying, “Huwag makipagsuntukan, huwag maki-paghamon ng away at maging role model sa kabataan.” Given the opportunity to be part of another GMA News TV 11 show, May Tamang Balita, Ramon stresses the need to be in the know what is going on around and to participate in anything that can help the nation. “Current events, dapat alam mo lang yung nangyayari sayo para makapagsabi ka ng opinyon,” he says. But though comedy and responsible citizinship can be seen in him, Ramon confesses on getting his fair share of critics and bashing. The UP Film professor keeps his cool and says, “Marami talagang hindi nakaka-gets. Yung okay na man dun, hindi sila nagagalit pero hindi sila nanonood pero hindi naman setback yun kasi kanya-kanyang trip. Hindi nila trip, eh di hindi nila trip.” Accused of indirect discrimination and cyber-bullying because of his no-holds barred way of responding to questions, he bounces back saying what he promotes is strenght of character. The same kind of firm stance can be seen on his opinions on some of the hottest issues in the country. “Cybercrime Law, kailangan parusahan yung mga gumagawa ng krimen sa internet. Uso ngayon yung internet, kailangan natin protektahan yung mga may identity sa internet,” he says. But going back to the topics he is known for, how exactly did Ramon develop a knack for becoming that wise in relationships, a game that only a few know how to play right. “Yung mga nangyayari sa akin, tinatandaan ko ng mabuti tsaka instead of mag-bitter, ginagawa ko silang mga lessons. Walang mga heartaches, only lessons,” he explains.

Ramon Bautista, yung pogi!

 You know you have made it big when you finally have your own theme song with your name on the title. Sino Si Ramon Bautista ('Yung Pogi)- no better title could have been made for Philippine's internet action star. Although a self-proclaimed suplado, Sir Monra reflects the image of a typical middleclass man who struggled and took his studies seriously and used all the knowledge and street smarts he obtained to get ahead in life. Ramon sits on the UP Film Institute staircase as he waits for the interview and swears every now and then- like any normal person. “Galing ako sa ordinaryong tao lang, nag-upload lang ako ng video,” he would say. As a kid, Ramon dreamed of being an astronaut, to travel and see the stars. He was able to do so eventually but not as an astronaut but as an artist and a film-maker. It is quite interesting to think that the same out-of-this world feeling of getting to sit next to your idols is also the same force that could keep you grounded. “Kapag katabi ko si Ely Buendia, nasa-star struck pa rin ako sa kanya. Parang ayoko na lang magsalita na lang kasi baka may masabi akong mali,” Ramon admits. So what is next for Sir Monra? The internet sensation says he likes to take things one at a time and adds that he is enjoying the things he is experiencing now. “Ako nageenjoy, basta nageenjoy yung mga barkada ko dun, ok na rin,” he says. For his last words, Ramon once again promotes the advantages of being in the nerd society with: “maaadvice ko sa kahit anong pangarap niyo maging internet action star, doktor, bumbero, astronaut, mag-aral kayo ng mabuti. Sundin niyo yung mga magulang niyo tsaka matuto kayong sumipsip sa mga boss niyo, sa mga teacher niyo.” #

When a teacher attacks...

Time made loud ticking noises as the moment for the presentation nears. I, the president of the class trembled at the thought of being the only person qualified to remind that notorious unpredictable Asian lecturer in front that her time had to be cut short. She was in the middle of her Ganges River sermon when it happened. Everyone were holding their breaths, each taking their own turn giving me “the look” to stand up already and politely tell the old woman to leave. It was a matter of minutes before we perform our English play. There were still loads of work to do- blocking, make-up and pep talks. I knew I had to man-up and go where no high school sophomore dared to go before. I took one very long deep breath and then decided to do another short one before deciding to raise my shaking hand. If only the arm chair could talk, it would definitely scream from how hard I was gripping it.

“Yes, Ms. Istante. What is it?”. I felt the words sting. I knew something bad was bound to happen any time.

“Yes. I'm sorry, Ma'am. But we have our play scheduled this day and I'm afraid by now we should already start preparing. We only have 10 minutes to show time.”

My plan was to say everything as fast as I can. I thought doing so would lessen the pain of when she starts exposing her wrath. I was nowhere near right. I stood there like an idiot while the aged woman in front of me erupted.

“I am doing my lecture, young lady! Have you no.......”. Blah blah blah. I tuned out the moment her voice hit infinite octave. She was like another being from a parallel universe. There I was, the center of all disgrace, panic-stricken and getting pale from all the shouting and anger this history teacher of mine so generously donated.

“Ma'am, I didn't me...”

“I am in the middle of my discussion and you tell me it's time already!! How....”

“asdfgh12345@#$^&*..!!!!!!!!”.

Boy, was she really angry. I didn't have the outstanding courage to stand up and say my side although I did get her to shut up and leave giving us the time to get on with our play already. She got her bag off the table and left marching with extreme irritation obviously from my random outburst. I was still in shock, silently rallying within that the whole thing wasn't my fault.

“There should have been a memo about this. Why is she so pissed?”, I quietly said to myself. I was still standing when everything started to turn into a slow motion scene. That's when I felt the sign of humiliation and disbelief sink in and stream right down my left cheek. My classmates who were all so busy getting in their costumes and running lines here and there stopped as if some football coach had just blown his whistle to call in the team. I guess they noticed that their ever courageous president and female lead is still in shock, teary-eyed from the fiery one-sided confrontation.

“Cara, are you okay? Please say something. We're about to start, you're not even dressed yet.”

They were all saying the same things so I had no choice but to push myself into waking up from my bubble. I was still crying when I started preparing. I got my dress and went to the girls' bathroom without talking to anyone. I was Juliet for crying out loud. I'm supposed to be a tough bitch and everything. While I went inside one of the stalls, I was still contemplating on what happened. I have always had the feeling that somewhere along the school year, I was bound to be thrown in some misunderstanding with any one of my eight subject teachers. I like to babble away. I like cracking jokes and I hate too much formality. I never turn down a chance to say my side in a debate but ofcourse I know when to tune down my radio. My plan was to stay incognito as much as possible. Throughout the year I was silent as a monk when need be, so it really came as a surprise to me how easily I went to being the main attraction of the class.

I went out the stall still in zombie form when all of a sudden,“that's okay, Cara. That Ma'am Asuncion is really a asdfgh12345@#$%^!”. Typical teen angst I know, but coming from the resident queen bee of our batch, it felt really weird. I thought why would she be nice to me, she practically annoys the crap out of plain girls like me everyday. I just went and muttered a very demure thanks to her somehow surprisingly friendly antic. We all then headed to the auditorium to meet with the very thing that caused our History teacher to metamorphose into a troll.

“Thank you, II-Magdiwang for that performance” one of the judges called.

And so the play ended. I knew what happened that morning sort of affected my acting for the dang play and so I was prepared to receive the worst my classmates could throw at me. I heard nothing from them. It figures. I know that they know it was the least they could do to thank me for saving the day by catching all the teacher's inferno that was supposedly meant for the whole class.

That same day I picked up what was left of my guts to try my luck and talk to Ma'am Asuncion. I slowly and shakingly made my way to the Teacher's Lounge. It was unusually cold inside that den or maybe it was just sweat running down my back as I tossed and turned for the right intro inside my mind.

“I'm sorry, dear. Ms. Asuncion timed-out early today. Was it because of what happened a while ago?”. Great. I became the talk of the town in a matter of hours. And in less than how many more would I become the school's black sheep?

“Yes Ma'am. I wanted to apologize for what happened.”

“Oh no, worries dear. I'm sure she didn't mean to explode like that. Just be back again some other day, okay?”. Well, atleast I got some sympathy or whatever.

Days passed and Ma'am Asuncion was a no show. I kept recalling that fateful incident over and over, just to be hurt more every time. I was starting to get really anxious. It was never in my nature to delay an apology. I always felt like it made things worse to have something important to say and have it postponed until that something is not as important anymore. Anyway, since the whole teacher-makes-a-scene-because-student-reminds-time issue, everything has gone a long a little smoothly for everyone. The mean girls in the class transformed into complete angels. They stopped making so much drama in class and went on to just focusing on their grades class performance- for a while. I don't want to get ahead of myself by thinking it was because of what I did that made them want to avoid screwing with ancient teachers, so I just blamed sickness or women red days for the matter. There were also some noticeable decrease in the amount of noise and unruliness that the class executes. Our section suddenly became the teacher's favorite. We'd get test exemptions and extra points sometimes and I'd like to blame it on the fact that everyone- like the mean girls- was indeed trying their best not to infuriate any teacher once more. We haven't had history for three days already and mostly that meant free time for us.

“This is the best time we'd had since Sir Corazon was sick for a week! Sure glad Cara pissed the hell out of Ma'am Asuncion”, I heard one classmate go. Everybody was up on their feet, thanking me for the deed. And while I managed a half-smirk to acknowledge their immature evaluation of the situation, my ego still remains fragile from the serious case of public humiliation I had just experienced.

“Hey guys, they just posted the list. We ranked fifth!”, Jocely announced. Not bad, I thought. Coming from an unfortunate encounter from Ms. Asuncion, we still pulled off a good play and even ranked fifth out of seven. Not bad. And just as I was about to let out my first genuine smile for the week since the incident, a familiar face went inside the room that sent not only shivers but perhaps convulsions up and down my spine.

“Good Morning, Ma'am Asuncion”, we said in a uniformed yet uncertain manner.

After 4 days of ditching, she came this very last day of the week. Perhaps to continue the overdue round two of her tangy whips on me. I took a long sigh and prepared for the worst.

“Okay, class, where did we end last meeting?”.......... Whaaaaat?? Did she really say that? And in a calm voice too?

Someone answered her but I was too stumped to find out who. I was waiting for more shouting, curse words and embarrassment to fill the room but there was none. What was left of our one-hour History class was all about Mesopotamia, Cuneiform writings and casual cracks of how she was friends with King Nebuchadnezzar who apparently courted her some time in her teens. Everything was so surreal. I could not bring myself to laugh- doing so may start the frenzy I had been expecting. I was fidgeting the whole time, trying to figure out a hint into this mental Rubiks cube she's playing in me. All I got was a slight smirk. I had no choice but to wait until the class was over.

Finally, it ended. And as she walked out our classroom door, I hurriedly ran after her.

“Ma'am, wait. Ma'am..”. She turned around, face all normal.

“Ma'am, I just wanted to... I've been trying to see you.....”. I stuttered every time I decided to go on a different direction with the apology. I knew my face was tomato-red already because of trying to suppress the tears. It's a reflex of mine.

Ma'am Asuncion just smiled at me. Genuinely, may I add. It wasn't exactly the verbal forgiveness I was hoping for but it worked, anyway. Her smile and her happy eyes had said it all. It has been haunting me if ever I really did offend her with my reminding of the time or if not, what made her act as if she would blow up any time from fury. I decided to let that be a mystery up until this day. I figured, theoretically, I had already committed an act of disrespect and that I would not want to risk committing another one again by asking her that question.

She softly patted my shoulder and went on to her next class.