So, a bad day?

Jaime: I have my beliefs... I have faith, but don't you?

Landon: No, there's too much bad shit in this world

                                                                      -A Walk to Remember (2002)

Things happen for a reason. And no matter how messed up I may be at times or how unbelievably bad my day is, I keep in mind that eventually everything will lighten up and become just a mere story of the past. It's a continuous struggle to keep this mindset but thankfully the Lord gave me enough power to summon this thinking whenever I am on the verge of breaking down.

These past few months, I had the time to really meditate and reflect on a lot of things. One of them is on how I react to situations. I'm really glad I'm not so much of a crybaby anymore. A lot of people are in worse situations than I am and I should be thankful that all I have to deal with are girl cramps, pathetic teen issues and not enough sleep. And I really didn't see my being out-of-school as a negative thing- in any case it taught me a lot of lessons and let me experience things I never expected. The thing that scared me the most would be the thought of having no one when I go back to school. Everyone would be one step ahead. Everyone would be going their own way forward without having to look back at me- their short classmate who was held one semester back. I know its childish to be so thoroughly concerned at such little thing. So I am very glad I got over it. The thought of how my blockmates took me in and made me feel that I still belonged last August 26 is one of the things that gets me going alongside the fact that everyone in my family works their hardest just so I can enroll in the next semester, just to cheer me up whenever I feel bored and just to support me in my current endeavors. I think it wouldn't be too much for me to keep mum about my petty little drama queen problems and help out by being more mature about my feelings, right?

Next Story: today dad got back home looking a little bit more poker-faced than usual. Turns out he had this heated road face-off with some guys who bumped into the van that he's driving. My father works in transport service. And so he was driving along his usual route when all of a sudden, a guy pushing a cart or something purposely hit the side of the van. Talk about weird! And so dad got out of the van and confronted the man. Little did he know about the company that weirdo of a man had. They somehow ganged up on my dad and threatened him that there “would be more trouble if eh stayed”. My dad knew better than to give those scumbags the satisfaction of being terrified and pissed. So he walked away. Me and my mom were surprised to see him home so early. He told us about what happened and added that he would be going to the police station tomorrow to file a blotter on the trouble makers he met. He found a way to be the better man without having to shout it out. Dad said he didn't mind the damage those people did to the car, but the threat and the attitude they showed would not be overlooked. He regularly passes through that place so any assistance from the authority would be good, if God forbid, anything happens to him.

Last rant: Like in Paramore's song “I've seen love die, way too many times when it deserves to be alive” , I too have witnessed too many break-ups, too many broken hearts and too many smashed hopes. Most of them mainly because the parties involved are too young to handle what they think is love. Bitter people would agree with this- nothing lasts forever. But sometimes miracles do happen, although finding one would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, the wait is surely worth it. Just now, I see a pair of potential lovebirds from the most unlikely two- a quiet bookish friend of mine is suddenly the new apple of the eye of this happy-go-lucky Mr. Popular type of guy whose also a friend of mine. Seriously, they look so cute together. It's all serendipity, I guess. I get envious sometimes LoL. But seeing the guy change so much and do so much for the girl, it makes me wanna say “awww” and cry my eyes out. You don't get to see Landon Carter-ish boys nowadays. They barely talked to each other before and now, it's like they spend almost everyday making each other's dream come true. I'm so corny I know but if you get the chance to see what I see, you would be this cheesy, too. I'm really excited on what's going to happen next.. Looking at them, it gives me more hope that somewhere ahead, there's bound to be good things waiting. I just have to be patient. Those two didn't go out looking for each other, they just found themselves like that, and so if I do the same- if I just do my best everyday and keep all the bad vibes locked up far from doing me harm, then eventually the good will find its way to me.

I have my beliefs.. I have faith, but don't you?