Mirror, mirror

And so I broke another mirror today. I was greatly paranoid about it- not to the fact that maybe I'll have seven years of unfortunate events coming ahead but because that mirror was a favorite of mine. I had that mirror for only less than a year but it meant a lot to me that I still kept a small piece of it.

It all started one bright, rainy day (the sun was up but it was raining, so yeah). T was already dismissal and I found it lying on a chair. As usual I had to do the very noble thing of asking to whom it belonged to before actually claiming it as my own. No one answered. No one even cared. For some bizarre reason, I adored that mirror right away. It wasn't even these heavy vintage-y looking mirrors that SM department store and Etude House sell. I'm sure it isn't pricey and I'm more than certain it doesn't appeal that much to girls who mostly worship the color pink. It was just this plain blue rectangular mirror with no special design and no other function than to reflect the thing it's faced at. And I absolutely loved it!

I felt sorry for the person who lost it, though. Losing something-no matter how small, inexpensive or insignificant- can create a frown on your face. I sincerely felt sorry but only for a short time. Mean, I know but I guess it was meant to be that that mirror fall into my hands . The thing is, I just feel like I see myself in it. I know what you're thinking- duh! It's a mirror, ofcourse you can see yourself in it. What I mean is, the mirror, in a way, IS me.

I sometimes compare its ordinary design, pocket-sized built and lack of special features to my plain appearance, petite body structure and low self-esteem issues. I feel comforted in a way because inspite all the negativity in the things that I mentioned, I know that mirror makes up for all its imperfections by functioning the same as any other mirror. I figured that's how I want to be. I want to be able to make help out in my own way even if I'm not the best there is. I could look at myself in that mirror and tell myself that there's still hope. I can still leave a mark in this world even if I'm not someone you can call “exceptional”, even if I fall and screw up sometimes and even if this- an average middle-class girl willing to fight- is all I have to offer. If I do my job right, like the mirror- fancy designs and attractive shapes won't matter- I still made a difference.

It's still quite embarrassing that an inanimate object had to be the one to teach me that lesson however I'm still grateful. Also, I resent breaking it in the most stupid way possible- I sat on it!. It could have been more dramatically sentimental and subtle if only I had dropped it or it got smashed by somebody else. Tsk. And so I dedicate this post to my beloved mirror who helped me survive moments of insecurity and doubtfulness of worth.